Funny things old people say

There's a man named Mr. Wagner who attends daily Mass at the same church as I do. Mr. Wagner is 87, and he's there every day without fail, even though I'm pretty sure he's the oldest person among the regulars. His wife died about 5 years ago. Last summer I noticed he was hanging around after Mass to talk to a widow who always sat near him -- Shirley, who's in her early 70s. Well, it wasn't long before love bloomed between the two of them, and let me tell you, it was quite the talk of this very small town for quite a while. They ride to Mass together, he gets out of his SUV (no lie!) and goes around to open her door for her, and then they hold hands as they walk into the church. Too cute.

So after Mass this morning, the whole group had coffee and donuts in the rectory, as we do from time to time -- usually on someone's birthday or for some holiday or something. (The priest is hardcore Irish. Not only do we celebrate St. Patrick's Day with donuts, but we celebrate exactly 6 months before St. Patrick's Day with donuts, too.) Today's was a birthday gathering. This is a fairly tight-knit group, these daily Mass attendees at this parish. (And in case you're wondering, yes, I am by far the youngest one there on any given day -- by about 20 years, I think.)

They do the coffee-and-donut thing pretty often, so they've got a system down. The door of the rectory takes you into the kitchen, where the coffee is set up. Then you move into the dining room, where the donuts are set up on a card table. There's a dining room table in there that seats 6, and this is a group of roughly 30 people or so. I always stand in the corner of the dining room, and this morning Mr. Wagner came over and stood beside me. Shirley turned around and said to him, "Why don't you come sit down?" And he replied, "No, I'll let the old people have the seats." He was completely serious, too. 87-year-old Mr. Wagner was content to let the old people have the seats. I almost snarfed coffee up my nose when he said that.

Mr. Wagner calls me "Puddin'." As in "Good mornin', Puddin'." Not sure how I got the nickname Puddin', but being a major fan of puddin', I'm all for it!